


be my shining light, rogers

by lovelybuckybarnes



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky is injured, Bucky remembers, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kisses, Love, Physically and mentally, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Steve fixes him, fluff at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-16
Updated: 2014-08-16
Packaged: 2018-02-13 08:55:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2144688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelybuckybarnes/pseuds/lovelybuckybarnes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky Barnes remembers everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	be my shining light, rogers

_his arm wrapped around bony shoulders_

_carefree smiles and laughs shared over melting ice cream cones_

_secret kisses shared in back alleys, or the dark of steve's room, all shaky hands and clicking teeth_

The memories flood his brain in small flashes, broken and blurry. He is sitting on the edge of a bed in a dingy hotel room, just South of DC. His arm is dislocated and he is bleeding profusely from a wound in his calf, but he does not tend to the wounds. He just lets the memories take his breath, and lets his brain become overwhelmed. He knows that Captain America- Steve, he corrects himself- is coming after him, but he can't bring himself to run. He wants to remember more, he wants to know what he was before The Winter Soldier. 

So he waits. 

It takes five days for Steve to be discharged from the hospital, fully healed, and begin his search for Bucky. He finds him on the sixth day. 

Steve pushes the door to the hotel room open slowly, sticking his gun in before his body, but when he sees Bucky sitting on the bed with his head in his metal hand, he drops the gun to his side. 

"Bucky?" he whispers. Bucky flinches at the name, but doesn't turn. "Are you okay?" Steve asks. He walks slowly towards Bucky, crouching down in front of him. "Buck?" he asks again. 

Bucky's metal hand flies to Steve's shoulder, fisting the fabric of his shirt, and he buries his head in Steve's chest. "I remember, Steve," he whimpers. "I remember you." 

Steve is slightly taken aback, but after a moment, he rests his hands over Bucky's.

"Hey, that's good," Steve smiles. "That's amazing. You're pretty banged up, though, Buck. Do you want me to take you home with me? Try to fix you up? You don't have to if you don't want to." Bucky hesitates, but nods his head. Steve helps him stand, careful to avoid Bucky's dislocated right arm. He struggles to put weight on his calf, but they make it down to the car, slowly, with Sam in tow. Sam drives while Steve sits in the back with Bucky, rubbing soothing circles into Bucky's thigh. 

Sam drops them off at Steve's apartment, and Steve helps Bucky into the bathroom. "You wanna take off your shirt and pants, Buck?" Steve asks. At Bucky's surprised expression he adds, "I just wanna try to fix your leg and arm." 

Bucky attempts to remove his shirt, but doesn't make it very far without Steve's help. When Bucky is finally in nothing but his black underwear, Steve sets to work. He first examines the gash on Bucky's calf. It isn't very deep, but it has bled a lot. Bucky winces when Steve wipes it with antiseptic, but gives no further protests as Steve cleans and wraps the wound. Bucky's shoulder is a different story. Steve tells Bucky that he knows how to pop a shoulder back into place, but that it will be painful. Bucky just nods his head, and braces himself. Steve gently takes Bucky's wrist and elbow pulling on the arm until it is out to Bucky's side. Bucky whimpers. 

"Okay, Bucky, I'm going to pop it back in on three okay?" Bucky nods. "One, two, three," Steve pulls on Bucky's arm until he feels the shoulder slide into socket. Bucky screams, but then a wave of relief washes over his face. "Thank you," he says. 

A few minutes later, the two are sitting on Steve's couch, Bucky curled into Steve's side. 

"What do you remember, Bucky?" Steve asks, tentative. 

"A lot," Bucky answers. "I remember sleeping on couch cushions on the floor, and Mrs. Parker across the hall who always gave us cookies. I remember when your ma died, and I remember working at the docks, and I remember us." 

Steve swallows, "You do?"

Bucky nods. "We used to kiss in your room and in the alley behind the diner. You were smaller then." 

Steve laughs, "We did, yeah. We were always so worried about getting caught. We would jump at just about any noise. Do you remember that one time we heard something in the back of the alley and we were so scared that we'd been made, but it was just Mr. Hendrick's cat"

Bucky grins at Steve's ramblings and tilts his head to peck Steve's lips gently. Steve smiles and looks down at Bucky before putting his hands under Bucky's arms, lifting him to sit in his lap and then he presses his lips back to Bucky's. The kiss is deep, all tongue and smiles and "I'm so glad to have you back." 

When they break apart, Bucky sighs. "I remember The Winter Soldier too, Steve," he says, "I've done a lot of bad shit and I don't know how to get away from that." 

"Bucky, none of that was you. You have to understand that. You were forced to do it, without any choice. It was never you. And I will never let them hurt you again. And I _will_ help you get away from all of that suffering. No matter what it takes." 

"You gonna be my shining light, Rogers?" Bucky smiles. 

"Always," Steve says, sliding his hands up Bucky's legs to his waist. Bucky tilts his head down and presses kisses up Steve's neck before connecting their lips again, tongues and smiles colliding. 

"I love you, Buck," Steve says, his hand hot and heavy on Bucky's back, under his shirt. 

"I love you too, Stevie."

Bucky thinks things are the same, but different. This time, his arms are around broad, strong shoulders, and the road ahead of them is long and rough, and their kisses are all tongue and desperation and passion. But Steve is still Steve and Bucky's working on being Bucky, and they are still very much in love. 

**Author's Note:**

> such babies   
> i love them so much


End file.
